Make Money Fucking

While I generally don’t go in for all of this gossip shit, I stumbled on something interesting today.  Apparently Tiger Woods has a porn star fetish, like most men with penises.  So it should come as no surprise he’d take a stab at one.  The said girl can be found the Spike Website, and when I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes I knew something looked familiar.  As soon as I saw it I knew I had seen that desk before!

In fact I’ve even had sex on that very desk!  How many people can say they’ve had a chick before the immortal golf god Tiger?  Admittedly it’s probably a pretty long list,  but I’m happy to report Phatzane and Lance Strong are on it!  I’m actually glad we did this scene well before Tiger got to her, from what I’ve read in the news he gets around a lot and seems pretty dirty.  No telling what he’s got!  :S

Check out the entire scene here or just check the trailer below if you are a quick shot.

Jenn Seven is a taut little cutie with a tough girl image.  Tattooed, pierced in all the naughty places and a wonderful trucker mouth that would rival even the raunchiest sailor, and I say that with the utmost respect.    Her hands thankfully are another story, soft and silky, perfect for giving mind blowing handjobs!  Sadly I was but a horny observer in this little stroke fest behind the camera.  Thankfully the sexy girl made it up to me in private.  Made it all the more nasty.  Grrr.

Where was I again?  Oh yeah Jenn’s sexually educated hands.  This girl certainly gave Bucky a good run as the poor bastard had to call cut only about 10 times or risk a very short scene.  It almost seemed like a game to her bringing him to the edge over and over again.  Maybe we should have slipped a little Viagra in him to numb him out a bit!   This is the kind of girl you do not tell Mama about, but will make a delicious tale for your horny friends.  Lets be honest the world could use more uninhibited babes like her.

Till then cheers and beers all.  See the full scene here.

Lance

Wet Summer

When my Faux Hawk headed friend called me up to assist on this I thought to myself, “Self; (and I knew it was me because I recognized my voice) what are you gonna do today?  Jump on the Rogan Board, watch porn, smashoff and go to sleep?”  The sad answer to that question was unfortunately yes, so I accepted his offer and headed down to see what’s up.

While this isn’t porn, this was certainly a sexy shoot.  Like most people on the planet I enjoy a hot girl.   When you take that hot girl and soak her completely so that all of her clothes stick to her, like a half cooked pancake to the ceiling after a fucked up flip attempt, all the better.  The girl to the left is Summer Roberts a stunning California cam girl (Suicide Blonde)who’s pictures can’t do justice to the real life version.  This painfully hot blond spent some time washing her clothes in the hot tub then graciously offered the tub to our other model .

Unfortunately because I have chlorine for brains the name of this beautiful brunette escapes me.  The asshole in me wants to say it doesn’t matter what her name is, then I remember I’ve been smacked for forgetting names mid stroke.  So the nice guy in me who likes getting some, wants to apologize to women everywhere. 

Hot Wet Brunette

Anyways this sultry brunette, and her long sexy legs joined our hot tub party and made a sexy addition to compliment Summer.  I wonder if she’s ever choked anyone with her legs before?  Hmmm, what was I talking about again?  Right, hot wet chicks.   The only complaint I have about this, other than the obvious lack of nudity was the fact that I forgot my scuba gear.  There really should have been a safety diver under the surface to make sure they didn’t drown.  Next time I’ll be better prepared

If you want to look at the large pics click on the gallery pictures below.  If you’ve had enough teasing and want to find a girl to spend some “quality”  time with then check out Amateur Match, it’s free to sign up.  The worst that could happen is you get an ugly chick to blow you, the best… a stunner like Summer or her sexy leggy friend.

Cheers and Beers

Lance

Wet Look Pro Official Wet Girl Website

Naked.com Where Summer does more than get wet. Her username is Suicide Blonde

Capri Cavalli is a delicious young woman with a firm ass and big tits on a small little frame.   Sometimes her lesser known assets go unnoticed, notably her well taken care of hands.  This of course made her a perfect addition to our young HD handjob site Handgasm.com As soon as she wrapped her hands around my cock I swear I thought it would be over in mere seconds.  Seriously it’s not everyday a girl that hot and taut decides she’d like to stroke my cock. Only happens once a week at best.    She even had the courtesy to suggest a little oil in order to let things slide nice and slick.  This is one scene I’d like to relive over and over!  Thankfully with the video evidence I can, and I can share it with all of you!

Visit Handgasm.com to see the video now!

Cheers and beers all.

Lance

Visit Handgasm.com to see the High Resolution HD video now!

If you want to hook up with a real woman in your area and get your own handjob I highly reccomend you go to Amatuer Match to get your own hands on horny like minded ladies!

Not much intellectual substance in this particular article it’s just an excuse to post pics really.  A little while back I got a call from a couple of friends who wanted to do a sex show in a strip club.  Seeing as those friends were two blondes willing to do a double team on me the decision was a difficult for me.  Mercedeez and Missy Mayhem picked me up drove me to a bar, fed me beer tore my clothes off and demanded I do bad things until I cum on them.  It was hard to take really but I rolled with it.     Sometimes good things just happen for no reason. 

Cheers and Beers,

Lance

Thanks for the copy of Pirates “Stagnetti’s Revenge” guys.

So I just got back from LA on a special job to help out adult production powerhouse Digital Playground.  Working with this company was a real treat.  From top to bottom they have got their shit together.  Talented production crews, and even more talented post production staff and the overall commitment to excellence that comes through in some of the hottest porn available, making their slogan “Porn worth paying for” more than just a catch phrase.  I can’t wait to see the end result of what we are working on, rest assured it will be big!

For those living under a rock that don’t know, Digital Playground is the company behind the biggest adult production in history, Pirates “Stagnetti’s Revenge” the successor to the previous blockbuster Pirates.  During my time there I got to work with award winning director RobbieD, shooting some of the hottest ass  available in LA right now.   Insatiable Krissy Lynn, statuesque Alana Rae, and some other chick who’s name I should have found out.  Unfortunately my ADHD and being too busy trying to rearrange the lump in my pants to a comfortable position conspired against me thinking straight.  Adding to my woes, I was there purely in a production capacity so I had to watch James Dean, (no relation to the sausage), Mick Blue, and Scott Nails have all the fun.  C’est la Vie.

Gia's Amazing ass

On a non work related note I got to spend an evening with AVN’s own Gia Jordan, owner of the most amazing ass pic in the history of ass pics.  (Proof to the left)  This lovely former porn beauty took the time to get me out of my hotel room in order to drink some beer at a couple of local pubs.  If at all possible the girl looks even better in person than in her pictures.  I was incredibly surprised at her skin especially given the life in the LA sun.  Must be the raw food   The evening was relatively normal, Gia got some vegan food, told off an aggressive guilt tossing homeless dude, and generally being more fun to be around than the average porn chick.

The night was a good way cap off a day of a dream job,  pulling out her tits, ass and vagina in the bar for gratuitous attention whore shots were at was more than enough to distract me from anything else, other than my beer of course,  lets not get stupid.  I just wish I had brought a real camera!  So with that, it’s off to the gym to get my plump ass back in to porno shape.  Cheers and beers all.

Lance

Oh and one more thing, thanks to Nick, Jason and Jojo for making the week  interesting, and make sure to tell that nice young lady at the hot dog place she still may get another shot at  me…. 

Jayme Langford

Traditionally my taste in porn has tended towards the more raw end of the spectrum.   The shortest route from the camera being switched on to the spread eagle shot if you will.  Lately I’ve been taking notice of the softer side of adult, increasingly becoming more turned on by brilliant photography of stunning women.   Maybe that’s why I’ve become more of a CuddleSlut lately but I digress.  BlainesGlamour is a site that caters to the sweeter side of the Erotica highway.  With shots like this of porn superstar Jayme Langford they seem to be doing all the right things.

Jayme Langford

Jayme Langford has graced just about every major magazine including Hustler and Penthouse.  This incredibly gorgeous Elisha Cuthbert lookalike is pure beauty packaged in to a woman.  When  that is combined with good photography great things happen.  While softcore may not be my normal cup of tea, if it turns me on then dammit it’s Hardcore, and this is no exception!

It’s for this reason I found myself excited to work with Blaines Glamour.   I have had the fortune to be an assistant on quite a few photoshoots, where I have been able to learn more about photography than I ever have, and not to mention getting to witness these incredible supergirls first hand.  Yet another reason why my life sucks so bad.  It’s getting to be too much to handle. 

I can’t wait for the next ridiculously beautiful girl they bring in to the studio because I know I will experience even more growth, professionally and personally.  Pun intended.

Cheers and Beers,

Lance

DD Babe Jade Kincaid

Bout a month ago I was directing a “Self Shot Amateur” style scene.  Which consisted of me showing the  models how to point the camera and letting them run with it.  Yet another rough day at the office it seems.  Although sitting around watching other people have sex was never something I could do without getting worked up myself.  What made it even more difficult is the female model brought along her friend Jade Kinkaid.  A busty babe with natural DD’s who is incidentally also a model and also gets all worked up watching people fuck.

We went in to the other room so as to not disturb our humping companions when she began complaining she wanted to see a cumshot.  Being the jackass that I am I jokingly offered to show one in 60 seconds if she wanted.  Calling my bluff, without hesitation she dropped to her knees and held out her hand, smiled and said, “Go“.  She began counting as I contemplated my options.  I could laugh this off pretend I was just fucking around; or I could be the twisted fuck that I play in the videos and snap a batch in her hand.  What to do… what to do?  I told her only on the condition that she rub my nuts, she gleefully started rubbing with her free hand and didn’t say a word except to continue the count which now stood at about 11 seconds.

Seeing that busty beauty on her knees, her cute face and having the ball massage it obviously didn’t take long to make good on my promise.  About second 42 if memory serves.    Then with perfect timing our other pornographic performers declared they needed a break so my shy cum queen walked in to show off her hard earned hand cream.  Not a bad load  for a 30 second smash I might add, but I digress.

After a quick coffee break we continued our little production and lo and behold my busty babe decided she was bored and wanted to go play with the Glory Hole we have set up downstairs.  Now she tells me dammit!  I wasted a perfectly good load on her hands and now she wants to suck some cock!  I thought briefly about complaining, decided against it, and led the lady to the Glory Hole set where she rehearsed her upcoming role.  20 Minutes of non committal blowjob and frenzied finger fucking later, we were rudely interupted by the working couple upstairs who wanted to finish up and call it a wrap.  The nerve of them wanting me to actually work!

Vergina has poor judgement wearing open toed shoes in winter!

I don’t personally have a type as far as women go.  In fact I’ll go for just about anyone if she’s pretty and sometimes even that’s negotiable.   Lately I’ve had a serious craving for a cute redhead though.  Someone sent me a link the other day of a scene I had done with a gorgeous redhead a while back  named Verginia.   It was a foot fuck scene, not usually my personal cup o’ sex but anything to get near this cute faced hottie, and cuddle up to her near perfect skin and tits!  Sometimes when life throws you lemons, you make love to a pretty girls feet but I digress. :S

Milky white skin covered in cum

We picked her up outside where she was foolishly wearing open toed shoes.  At least her French Manicured Feet showed through the snow that accumulated on her toes.  Remember I said she was a sweetheart and hot as fuck, I never said anything about practical.   Getting down to business we messed around warmed up her feet, then wrapped her long legs around me and cuddled me from behind while pumping with her best impression of a foot fist.  Happiness is only a naked cuddle away

Busty brunette Julie licks feet!

Having completed the scene Verginia got cleaned up and ready for her next foot scene with the lovely Julie in a lesbian foot worship session.  Julie is an incredible babe with amazing D-Cup natural tits and cute curvy body to compliment her angel face.  Much to my personal dismay she is a girls girl as far as porn is concerned so I’ll have to be content to enjoy her beauty in pictures.  Life’s rough, get me a rope.

Red and Black are a nice colour combo

Verginia foot Videos

Lesbian Foot Sex Pictures

Diddy giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek!

So April came again this year and that means time for the Phoenix Forum!  One of the industries best parties!  Sponsored events, free booze, buffets, naked dodgeball, oh and naked chicks ripping around hammered out of their tree!  Did I mention how much I hate my life yet?

Anyhoo, the weekend started off innocent enough, just meeting with some old friends at hooters pounding back the shitty wings and light beer.  (What the fuck is with the American hard on for light beer?)  Got to see a wicked Piano show at some hole in the wall club across the street too.  Basically playing old rock tunes thrown shit at each other trying to fuck each other up!  Returning to the resort we just chilled out by the pool, watched the sunset and relaxed with a beer in hand while talking with beautiful girls in bikinis.  Sure beats the snowfall I flew out of!

The next day is when the real party started!  After getting reacquainted with more colleagues I hooked up with a couple bros who wanted to go out on the town to see what the College town of Tempe had to offer!  The night was off to a rocking start with shots of tequila and Saganaki (Flaming Goat Cheese) at the Big Fat Greek restaurant.  Opa!  Arm wrestling, singing, and general hyperness were apparently not appreciated by the restaurant.  But hey we had like 20 people in there so they let us get away with it. Eventually to their relief we eventually did decide to take the party elsewhere.

Next we took the party to another club down the street, having a grand old time!  Dancing, shouting, and singing at the top of our lungs.   We had such a good time in fact that we were asked to leave!  I guess the fact that we were trying to get the party going with a bunch of stiffs in suits who weren’t appreciative of a good party.  What the hell are they doing there if they don’t wanna let loose?  It’s a club dick heads, get over it!  The geriatric section is at the old folks home!  This shit wouldn’t happen in Vancouver that’s for damn sure!

The rest of the convention consisted of Poker tourneys, room parties with stripper poles, and even an auction!  Complete with a world champion auctioneer and a seriously hyperactive bid spotter!  If I didn’t know this was a serious event I may have spent the whole time laughing hysterically!  It was certainly an experience!  Also had the pleasure of filming a scene for Jessie Coxx and obviously a couple for Janessa Jordan!  Well I’m getting kinda tired and I need to get real work done now so I’ll just end this saying I love Arizona, but Tempe Cops SUCK!

Cheers and Beers all!

The vid below is just some dumbshit that went on during the forum.   Porno Dan being Porno Dan, Diddylicious telling a bad joke and a bunch of other random bullshit.  I don’t have nearly the same amount of video as last year, but entertaining in it’s own way to the right people.