Hard Times and Concrete Facts
Any industry can be tough for newcomers. Especially if you are entering blind to the way that business works. For the Adult Industry this is especially true as there are unique issues that no other industry has to deal with. Likely, if you ever hear the term “Facial” in any other industry it usually has to do with a trip to the spa, and a “Creampie” is something you may never associate with food again once you realize the porn equivalent.
Losing your Porn Virginity
The first bit of advice I can give you is, make fucking sure you want to Make Money Fucking! Much like your vaginal virginity, once you lose your on screen virginity you cannot ever get it back. Porn is forever thanks to the internet, just ask Crystal Gunns about that. Obviously being in porn doesn’t make you a bad person but in the minds of some sexually challenged people, it does. Especially in the Po-Dunk Bible thumping areas; and don’t kid yourself, they are not exclusive the southern US states. All I’m saying is make sure you are certain this is something you want to do. If you can honestly tell yourself that you want to be involved in porn and don’t consider it evil, then please continue on! If not you might as well hang up your Whore Hat and go back to being a bar star flashing your tits for shots of Tequila like every other camera shy attention slut. It’ll save you and your producers a lot of headaches in the long run!
Your Vagina is not an ATM machine
Made it past the last section? Ready to “Spread your legs for the industry?” Let’s continue on then. Most girls once in the industry become easily accustomed to fast cash for little effort and work. Then reality sets in one day, “Hey! My rent is due and I spent all my cash how come this fucker won’t pay me for another vagina video right now!” Wondering why? There are many reasons why this may be the case. It could be you aren’t needed for a particular shoot, the producer has enough content for now, you set your rate too high and priced yourself out, or it could be the producer thinks you are a cunt and would rather spend his day with someone who doesn’t make them want to suck on the business end of a Glock. If you honestly can’t figure out why you aren’t being booked you may want seriously consider that it is the latter reason and attempt to remedy it. Whatever the case may be, slow times happen and sometimes you just don’t get booked at the time that you want. Make sure you plan for the future and save your money for slow downs. If you have to choose between groceries and eating your new Gucci Bag please remove yourself from the gene pool by any means necessary. Sage advice for anyone, in any industry.
If you want to be a hot, lasting asset in this biz then ask yourself honestly, “If I was a producer would I want to shoot me?” Are you late often? Do you have an attitude? Are you watching the clock, and asking when you can get paid and leave before you even start? Affirmative answers to these questions should send up warning flags for you. It has been said that porn will suck the soul out of you, when in reality a well adjusted woman who knows herself and her own limits will be just fine. Porn has however, has been known take a girls Work Ethic and throw it out with the used jizz rags.
People who “Work” in porn can stick around for a long time, and make good cash, especially when considering the wages at McDonald’s for a week usually don’t add up to a days work in the industry. Those who lay there barely able to fake a moan, complain about it taking too long and do little more than provide the vagina, can expect to be waiting a while for their next call time. Your performance does matter, and it will directly affect how much a producer can make and in turn, how much you can make.
Got the personality of an electric fence?
How you interact with others on set is going to certainly be a large part of the reputation you make for yourself. Sometimes more so than your stunning beauty. For better or worse unless you are the next Kate’s Playground, (News flash you’re not) chances are you’ll need to work with other people on set; models, assistants, directors, the annoying dude drooling in the corner. (Just kidding about that, no need to get along with him) The point being if you earn a reputation for being a social handgrenade, you could be sex appeal on a stick, and still find yourself waiting for calls to come in.
The reverse is also true, if you are easy to get along with and give your best every time you shoot you’ll find you will be in far higher demand. Surely it’s not about making friends, but if there is even the remote possibility of you ever having to exchange fluids with that person, wouldn’t you want that person to have even a little respect for you and your fluids?
Which brings us to our next issue…
Cleanliness is next to Godliness, but BO is the devil
If you are a woman, and are comfortable enough to flash your gash in front of an audience then chances are your not one of the people I am talking about, yet as always there are exceptions to the rule. Hygiene in adult modeling is of absolute importance. As is general body maintainance, Be clean, be clean shaven, (though some shoots require a Brontosaurus Bush, check with the director), a tan doesn’t hurt, have your nails looking good etc.. No different than being a regular woman, look the best that you can and work will find you 
This is not an all inclusive list obviously, as there are countless unique circumstances to consider. Such as the ever popular POV with the Lens Cap on, and I lost a sponge under my cervix. Though with a little common sense, and a little help from experienced people in the industry you may be able to navigate your way through this biz, which in all seriousness can be Loads of fun…
While this article was written tongue in cheek, it is also practical advice worthy of some merit. Most of this advice is common sense, yet unfortunately this particular type of sense is somewhat uncommon in our industry.. I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to send feedback to lance@makemoneyfucking.com
/End annoyed rant from producers perspective…
